Dressing For Short-Arses.



How to dress.

Not exactly the kind of advice I ever envisioned giving anyone – my morning styling primarily involves peeling clothes from the floor and checking for last nights bolognese stains.

Socially acceptable dressing may not be my forte however, being small is.

If there is one skill I am confident in possessing, it’s being a slightly less than average height.

Being petite is pretty awesome most of the time; you can fit into smaller clothes (hello tax free kids section), squeeze onto the central line at 8am and you’ll always get picked to stand at the top of the human pyramid (not sure if that’s a good thing on second thought)…

The downside to being under 5’3” however, is wearing clothes.

The daily struggle of “will this make me look like a 12 year old?” is enough to make me want to throw my wardrobe out the window and crawl back into bed. In fact, it’s taken me a good 20 years to work out what actually looks good on me – or at least, what doesn’t.

For those of you who also feel slightly deprived of an average length leg, I thought I’d share my fail-safe ‘small person’ garms:

  • Cropped trousers or culottes
  • Tunic dress (For layering over said cropped trousers)
  • Oversized linen shirt
  • Chunky flat brogues
  • Flat sandal (Surprisingly I don’t wear a lot of heels)
  • One medium/small chunky heel

The teenage Hannah in clingy dresses and strapless tops would have guffawed at my mid-length skirts and granny shoes, but somehow the flatter and baggier my wardrobe, the taller I feel.

So although you probably won’t see me in skinny jeans or mini skirts anytime soon, please feel safe in the knowledge that there’ll always be someone there to buy your Grandma’s old oversized twin-sets.

Well, if the Olsen twins can do it…


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